What Is Eternal Narration

as i feel the inferno
i stare in the dark
thinking what is eternal
the man or the moment
the act or the reason
these thoughts fill my head
as i contemplate treason
of dreams i have had
and dreams i have pondered
when late in the night
my mind it would wander
to things i have done
and then quickly regretted
while denying vices
my life had selected
and i think what i've done
or have yet to begin
and the man i've become
and the man that i've been
now caught in a waltz
with the eternal dancer
i'm courted by death
but death isn't the answer
i say
all i was
meant to be
could i
suddenly
just decide
not a thought
would survive
could it be
my life's worth
ended there
with my birth
if i could see someone
who's been there before me
and traded his soul
for a moment of glory
his penance or mercy
by spirits debated
while judged on a scale
that's been heavily weighted
and what have i done
could there be such a sin
in this man i've become
in this man that i've been
now calling to god
from the pit's very bottom
i pray he forgives
every sin i've forgotten
this day
and who would have thought
that my fate it would conjure
this twist in the road
on which i have wandered
each vision and dream now
completely dismembered
to give one's whole life
and find nothing's
remembered
and what good is a life
that leaves nothing behind
not a thought or a dream
that might echo in time
the years and the hours
the seconds and minutes
and everything that
my life has placed in it
betrayed
betrayed
betrayed
the things i have done
the places i've been
the cost of my dreams
the weight of my sins
and everything that
i've gathered in life
could it be lost
could it be lost in this
could it be lost in this
night