Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man,
The kind of man you'd never disrespect.
He stood eight foot tall, wore glasses,
And he had a third nipple on the back of his neck.
He ate his own weight in coal,
And excreted diamonds every day.
He could throw you down a flight of stairs,
But you still would love 'im anyway.
Yeah, you know you'd love 'im anyway.
Charles Nelson Reilly won the Tour de France
With two flat tires and a missing chain.
He trained a rattlesnake to do his laundry,
I'm tellin' you the man was insane.
He could rip out your beatin' heart,
'n show it to you right before you died.
Every day he make the host of "Match Game"
Give 'im a piggyback ride.
Yeah, a two hour piggyback ride.
Giddy up, Gene!
A ninja warrior, master of disguise,
He could melt your brain with his laser beam eyes.
Oh yeah, oh yeah!
He had his very own line at the DMV.
He made sweet, sweet love to a manatee.
Oh yeah, oh yeah that was somethin' to see, I tell ya!
Charles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion,
But he never ever told a soul.
I've seen the man unhitch his jaw
And swallow a Volkswagen whole.
He'd bash your face in with a shovel
If you didn't treat 'im like a star.
'Cause you can spit in the wind, or tug on Superman's cape,
But Lord knows you just don't mess around with CNR.
No no no!
Talk about CNR.
